When you stop to think about it... What is really running your life? At The HandelGroup we've had a lot of success teaching about something called Personal Laws. They are the beliefs we've inherited, been told, taught, bought into and follow - they govern the actions we take, decisions we make and for the most part, unintentionally, live our lives for us. Most of our "personal laws" are unbeknownst to us and in order to recognize them we must get curious about what we are actually doing, thinking, justifying, defending, and excusing everyday, and from there, we can locate and change the root of our current belief system. Read the beauty of how Diane got suspicious of her own "pissy" thoughts & reactions and what they had her come to realize... I've been on a personal journey to reclaim my life and health over the past two years. The physical result has been a weight loss of 160 pounds thus far. At the time of this story I was a size 10, 5'2" & 173lbs and I had been told over the past month by a few medical professionals and friends that I was at or close to their weight goal for me. I didn't feel that I was finished losing weight and so I struggled with this information for a few weeks and then began to buy into the idea that this was the size I was meant to stay. Then on April 26th, I attended a one day Urban Retreat in NYC led by Patricia Moreno and Laurie Gerber. I have attended a few of these retreats over the last year so I was prepared for the great combo of exercise and self-discovery. As the day unfolded, it was clear that the focus of this day would be "fear". As each participant was asked to write down his/her fear, mine came to me quickly; "No matter how much plastic surgery I have, I will never love my body". After doing some guided writing about my fear led by Laurie, our life coach for the day, I agreed to share with the group. After stating my fear and reading my writing, Laurie asked me if I was done losing weight. I quickly said "yes". She then replied, "I don't think you are." I instantly could feel myself getting angry. As she spoke and I listened and responded, I thought to myself "how dare she say that, who is she to judge me, I have had several professionals tell me I've lost enough, okay, I struggled with this at first but I have worked so hard over the last few weeks to accept this idea, she doesn't understand how far I have come, I have lost 160 freaking pounds already and blah, blah, blah." Shortly after our conversation, it was lunch time. Still in my "pissy" state, I decided I didn't want to go out with anyone from the group. As I stomped through the streets to find lunch, the ranting and raving in my head continued. I decided to sit outside and eat and as I did I thought "the hell with all of this crap, I don't need this, I'm going to eat my lunch, go get my stuff out of my locker at the gym and leave, I'll go see a show, I don't need these people, they don't even know me, more blah, blah, blah." Then all of a sudden, it hit me. What Laurie sensed from me was right on target. She mirrored exactly what I had been saying in response to all those people who have been telling me I should be done losing weight. I quickly realized that I had simply just resolved myself to giving up my weight loss dreams and accepted the dreams set for me by other people. I can't even explain the level of peace that I felt. It became unbelievably clear at that moment, that I was not ready to have plastic surgery now (or possibly ever) and that I still have more weight I want to lose. I began to trust for the first time in my life that I will know when I am done losing weight. I don't need "professionals" or anyone else to decide for me. I joyfully returned to the group and shared this entire process with everyone at the retreat. I thanked Laurie for her accurate read of me and my situation. As I sat on the LIRR heading home to join my husband and kids at a birthday party, I couldn't wait to share my experience. While I have shared it with close family members and friends since, no one can truly understand how much my experience at the retreat has helped bring clarity to an issue I have struggled with my whole life.---With much gratitude, Diane Ripple - HG Private Coaching Client Maybe It's You? In order to even begin to realize our highest ideals; we must wake up to the water we swim in and hunt down the Personal Laws that no longer serve us. These areas are usually easy to spot but hard to admit; any place we feel justified, righteous, excused, defensive, irritated, resigned or "off limits" is most likely a place where we have inadvertently instituted some form of bad logic, mediocrity or limiting belief system and we are selling out on our dreams. You can hear in Diane's example that she was living in a law called "if a professional or my friends' say this is where I am meant to be, then this must be where I am meant to be" and she was irritated the minute anyone questioned it, even when she questioned it herself. Brilliant (sneaky) Creatures. Human beings are experts at deflecting our beliefs, dreams and values so we never have to feel scared while going after our dreams. We can figure out how to live with or survive anything, we are resilient almost to a fault. The downside to this, however, is we can get stuck in our explanations and excuses for why it's okay, it's good enough, I tried. It becomes hard to believe anything else is possible because we've become so habituated to living with "it" for so long. Don't Believe the Hype! How's your body looking? How about that dream job or the love of your life? Have you convinced yourself it's too hard, you've already tried and it will never work? Designing your life and living your dreams is not just about the results you want - but what would have you wake up proud of yourself everyday. There is nothing that feels better than holding yourself to your highest standards. The HandelGroup coaches teach you how to design beautiful philosophies for every area of your life that will allow you to have what you really want, from exactly where you are today. By the way, Diane is down to 171 now and going strong!