In today’s world, not even Calgon (bath bubbles) can take you away from the dating scene. It’s all right there, played out for you every day on your Facebook or Instagram feed.
So if you’re saying, “If I hear one more HAPPY story about love sought and found online, I’m going to not just binge watch Breaking Bad (again), I’m going to cook up my own crystal shrimp dumplings” … this is the blog for you.
Maybe your last relationship ended a few months ago. And maybe you even feel ready to step out again. You’re over the hurt feelings, you dealt with your part in the breakup gracefully and maturely, and you even learned a lot along the way. It’s empowering to know that you can put any situation in the rear view mirror. You’re ready for what’s next …
… until nothing happens.
Whether you’re the type to go out with none, go out with a ton, or go out with one ho-hum, here’s an ironic thing about love: People who are frantically searching for it do not usually have much success at finding it. Likewise, people who are awesomely single often do not stay that way for long (unless they choose to!)
What does it mean to be awesomely single?
The following tips will point you in the right direction:
- Revisit your self-identity
All self-identity is relative to other people. When you get wrapped up in love, or if you spend a long time being someone’s partner or spouse, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are in the bigger scheme of things. How do others perceive you and how do you perceive yourself? A photographer, an entrepreneur, a business owner, a rock climbing enthusiast, a cancer survivor, a feminist, an avid reader? Dig deep and write a few ideas down, and elaborate! This list should make you feel proud.
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2. Evaluate your friends
Are you a good friend? Who are your friends, anyway? Single people socialize more than couples, so beware – you become who you hang out with. This may seem obvious, but you should have more in common with your friends than “we work together” or “I went to school with them.” They should inspire you with their actions, not enlist you in their melodramas. Are your friends happy singles or frustrated serial daters? It’s easy to miss the connection between your love life and your social life, but patterns are there and they do repeat. Hint: if you feel like the only sane one in a group of crazy, unstable friends … you might be one of them.
3. Rock your current job or find a new one
The average American lifetime includes 90,000+ hours of work time; if you’re not actively engaged in the career of your dreams, or if you’re stuck in one you don’t like, that’s a lot time that you’re spending unhappy. Ever been with a partner or spouse who constantly complained about work? It sucks the life out of everybody. If you’re not there yet in your career, being single is a perfect time to explore different opportunities, take risks, and search for what is really meaningful for you. In the meantime, be the star of your current workplace and keep your dreams in perspective. No one was ever promoted to CEO by slacking off at their previous jobs.
4. Get serious about having fun
And I don’t mean the type of fun that starts on Friday night and leaves you washed up on the shore on Sunday morning. I mean fun-fun. Adventure. Expeditions. Odysseys. You don’t need to be one half of a couple to plan an awesome weekend trip, or try a new hobby, or visit a friend in another city. Get out of the house, get out of your scene, and do things that excite you.
5. Self improve
If you really are looking for a relationship, you should exemplify the type of person that you would want to meet and fall in love with. Like attracts like! Get healthy, exercise diligently, resolve emotional issues, and make whatever changes you want to see in yourself before you get involved with anybody new. Engaging in the practice of self-care will boost your confidence, bring you closer to yourself and your dreams, and make you a better lover when the time comes.
Can I hear an Amen (or Awomen?)
P.S. If you’re ready to be #AwesomelySingle, we have a way for you to meet up with your tribe. Join HG Life Co-President and Expert Coach Laurie Gerber for the 3Hs Guide to Finding the One, a free live event at Free People in Soho this Thursday February 8 at 8 pm.