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I Cured Myself of Being Sick


 
I cured myself of being sick. This might be a controversial topic to raise, but it is so very much on my mind that it is hard for me to resist. I had a fever for the four days straight earlier this week and I find the experience fascinating.
Part of the Handel method teaches that we make up theories about everything, some empowering, some not so much. There are a few possible theories I’ve heard of about being sick. I’ve listed them below and my response to each. See what resonates with you:
1) Theory: Illness is about being exposed to contagions and, heck, my kids and husband had this fever/cough/headache over the last few weeks; of course I got it.
My response: Okay, maybe a factor, but they get sick all the time and I don’t, so how do I explain my usual wellness when they’re sick? Or the fact that when I do get sick, I am always the last one to be sick? The theory is too simple.
2) Theory: You get sick from being run-down and tired. It means you need a break and this is your body’s way of making sure you get one.
My response: Hmm, I definitely buy that there is a point at which my immune system stops working optimally, but what I find fascinating is what “controls” when that point occurs. I do not believe it is random. And, wouldn’t it be more powerful to plan a balanced life including time off rather than having to “steal” it?
3) Theory: It’s completely random.
My response: Doubt it. I never think that because I feel so much more powerful when I consider I have something to do with it.
4) Theory: Sickness is to show you something, a lesson perhaps?
My response: Now we’re starting to talk my language. Sickness makes you slow down and pay attention. But be careful you don’t get the wrong message. If you are thinking the lesson/message is that life is unfair or that you are powerless over germs or disease, you are on the wrong track. The theory is getting warmer, but has pitfalls.
5) Theory: Sickness is just the inner “brat” or “chicken” acting out.
My response: Whoa, consider that. This is not the most common explanation, but it is my current, winning theory. It dawned on me this might be the truth because I realized that my fever started DIRECTLY after hearing that one of my biggest, scariest dreams really might be coming true (hello, chicken) and that I might be losing a co-worker who helps me a lot with things I feel I need (“no fair” said the brat). Coincidence? Oh, I think not.
If I check back to every other time I ever got sick, there’s a pretty similar pattern.  In this instance, and others in my life, I wanted to make sure to get off the hook for dealing with something, or dealing with it immediately or directly. I wanted to hide from something, just recede for a little while, please! A short fever is perfect for that by the way; thank goodness I do not feel the need to pull in “bigger guns.”
The cure: When I realized the chicken and brat were at play and I had ceased to “author my life” (and confessed that out loud to others on my team) I instantly felt better. My mojo returned and the fog lifted. It took a few more hours for the fever to dissipate but it, too, left.  If the original moment of “feeling powerless” was the turning point to the sickness’ onset, then this moment of reclaiming my power was the turning point towards health.
We teach that feeling bad is a diversion; we use “feeling bad” to get off the hook from dealing with issues head on. It hadn’t occurred to me quite so boldly, until now, that “feeling bad” includes feeling bad physically. What a revelation. Hope it helps you with your sniffles.
xo, Laurie