Have you ever found yourself blaming your lateness on someone else’s location?
I seriously said to myself, as I was running late to an appointment, “does she realize she lives on Tenth Avenue? That is far from the subway!” If you follow the internal logic in my mind at that moment, it implies that it was HER fault I was running (literally) late! When I catch myself in that kind of defensive, justified and absurd thinking I have to marvel at my mind’s ability to manipulate a situation in order to avoid taking responsibility for MY bad results.
I’m not alone.
We all do this in some way or another and it’s not helping us achieve our dreams.
Truth is, I am the only one responsible for me being on time. No one else. I did not design being on time to my appointment at all. I had a call until 30 minutes before my appointment and the trip from my house to hers is approximately 35 minutes, on a good day. And, when I walked out the door that morning, I already knew I was going to be late. Instead of just owning it, I went into powerless, victim, blaming mode and created what I thought was a logical excuse in my head.
If I can do this dance about something as concrete as being on time, I wonder how much I try to get away with that kind of thinking about other things, too.
The answer is, all the time.
Often, if we explain why something happened or didn’t happen by using “bad logic,” like my blaming an address for why I was late, and we think these excuses are totally logical and true, we can’t hear them as the excuses they are.
Well, with a little training, you can start to question how you think about anything. The first step is to assume that you are applying some form of logic to everything and if you aren’t getting the result you want out of it, then it’s probably bad logic.
Get a feel for how The Handel Method® could benefit you.
When we work with people to design their time, we find all sorts of bad logic in their thinking. We find that people really believe that they can succeed in one area and not in another, like they can be great parents OR have great careers, but not both. Or they can be great at taking care of themselves, but not at dating and taking care of themselves. Instead of dreaming of excellence in both areas and designing from there, the best people come up with is dreaming of this elusive thing called “balance,” which really just means, “I want to stop being overwhelmed and feeling ineffective at everything.”
Your bad logic is impacting your results in all areas of your life.
I used to think that happiness and results are functions of how much time is put into something, which is also bad logic. If you step back and think about it, not all great things happen because you put in X amount of time. Obviously, I’m not saying dedicating time is useless, I’m simply talking about being smart in the designing of your time and thinking that having more time is “a must” in order to be happy and have what you want is also very limiting.
Just for today, consider the idea that you can have everything you want: a great connection with your kids, your mate, your potential mate, exercise, a productive day at work and time to just chill, and that none of it is a function of time or has to come at the expense of something else. Thinking like that puts you in the driver’s seat instead of the powerless passenger seat. It gets you to start thinking creatively and being a problem-solver, not an excuse-maker.
When we assume responsibility for our choices, our actions and our thinking, we assume power. The next time you’re late for a meeting or come up with a Tenth Avenue-type excuse for why you didn’t work out today, catch your bad logic. Laugh at it. Take responsibility.
New logic will give you a new reality.
If your bad logic or excuses are standing in the way of your success, try our flagship courses, Design Your Life Weekend Workshop or Design Your Life 12-week Tele-Course, where you will learn how to manage your mind and start to take the right actions that will have you, once and for real, realize your dreams!