Very few of us are fortunate enough to have a great relationship to money. Personally, I wasn’t taught a ton in that regard when I was a kid. Sure, I learned to save, earn and be responsible with money. But I also observed my folks and decided that money was hard to come by, came with a lot responsibility and was not very important to me. For certain, I wasn’t taught that we could attract money and even, gasp, have fun with it!
Regardless of how we were raised, I think that we could all use a little work on our relationship to money and finding freedom and ease with it.
Today, I dream of treating money as an energetic force, something that can be commanded and used for good, something that comes in and out with ease, something that is a fun measure of success in my endeavors and something I can rely on to help me experience that which I wish to experience in my life.
How about you? Would you like that too?
One thing I’ve learned at the Handel Group is that taking the right actions helps you not only get your dreams, but dream bigger. It goes without saying that you will feel more power over your money if you take stock of what you earn, spend, save, and invest, and tell the truth about how much you are in debt. We recommend frequent reality checks and thoughtful planning for your future when it comes to money.
But we also know that it goes deeper than that: behind all your actions are all of the thoughts you have about money, which we call your inner dialogue. Our inner dialogue is much more powerful than we think it is, and yet we usually don’t even know what our inner dialogue is about an area until someone asks. So I am asking you, what do you say to yourself about money?
Let’s imagine that what you feed yourself in thoughts is a lot like what you feed yourself physically. Some foods make you sick to your stomach, while others give you energy. The same is true with thoughts: some nourish your dreams and some suck the life out of your dreams.
Personally, I wanted to make more money, and yet, it turns out that my negative inner dialogue had a lot to say about that. I made a list of some of my least helpful thoughts about money to share with you. You might want to come up with your own list before you peek at mine. No two people have the same exact list but, for sure, we might have some in common. Please post some of yours on the blog to help others put together a nice juicy list.
- It’s shallow to want money.
- Wanting money leads to disappointment. What if I don’t get it?
- It’s too much responsibility to have money and nice stuff.
When I looked at the list objectively, I thought to myself, what an odd duck you are. My coach certainly agreed and asked me to consider that these thoughts might just be BS. She reasoned that these thoughts were either driven by fear (which we call “the chicken”) or by being annoyed (which we call “the brat”) and challenged me to tell the truth, or “talk back,” to each one.
Watch this logic:
1) It’s shallow to want money.
Talk back: This is a cop-out based on fear. I intend to earn in honorable ways and do great things in service of my family and humanity with my wealth, so there is nothing shallow about it.
2) Wanting money leads to disappointment. What if I don’t get it?
Talk back: Now the truth comes out! You are just afraid to want something and not get it. But you know that you always feel better when you go for something, even if you fail. Not to mention that if you never try, you are guaranteed to never win!
3) It’s too much responsibility to have money and nice stuff.
Talk back: What a funny kind of brat you are! I am sure you could learn how to take care of your wealth and all the decisions and nice things that come with it.
What are your most common negative money thoughts? Can you find the chicken or brat in them? Once you realize that these thoughts are working against your dream quite on purpose, you can shift to generating and listening to a much more helpful (and braver) inner dialogue, like what was contained in my “talk back.” When you shift how you think, your actions naturally change and you get different results.
P.S.- Change your mind about money so you can enjoy more of it at Change Your Mind About Money.