This doesn’t apply to all of you, only some of you. So you might want to stop reading if you can’t relate to the following statement: Food talks to me. If I let it, it can almost talk all day long. I have an excellent solution for how distracting this can be. It’s part of the Handel Method® and it’s called Promises and Consequences. Let me explain.
Because my mind is so active on the subject of food, I need a lot of rules around food. My promises and consequences quiet my mind. Here is a sampling:
– I don’t eat sugar, but I am allowed two desserts per week.
– I don’t eat refined carbohydrates (bread, pasta, etc.).
– I don’t eat cheese, except for feta and goat.
– I don’t eat after 7:30pm.
– I drink two huge glasses of water before anything else in the morning.
– I take probiotics morning and night.
– I only drink water, but am allowed up to two alcoholic beverages per week.
– I can break any of these rules for one meal per week.
– I don’t get to break my rules or eat my desserts unless I hit my favorite weight (which I have clearly defined and shared with my community). This is how I have designed the “consequence” part of the process.
Now, when I go on vacation, I disband all my rules and immediately the food starts talking to me. The main thing that converses with me when I’m away? My favorite chocolates, of course.
When can I get it? Will the family be okay to stop on the way? Will I have to wait ’til everyone is settled in? What if someone else tried to pick the chocolate already? No no, I have to pick it for myself. It’s all for me. I’ll get some to share, too, of course. This is so special and exciting. What if they tease me about this? Okay, I’ll play it cool, I’ll try not to care. But I am just so excited. Uh oh, I remember now I do not feel so good afterwards. My mouth hurts and my stomach hurts and I get all tired and cranky. Then I don’t feel like exercising and I just want to stay in bed. I hate that feeling– like I never really connected with my family because I just wanted to lie around. And my lord, what it does to my skin! Maybe that won’t happen this time. I’ll be moderate, really. Either way though, when I get back home I am going to have to deal with losing all the weight again. That’ll be hard. But it’s worth it, and by then I’ll really be ready. It’s only fair, it’s the holidays, everyone is letting loose, why shouldn’t I? Everyone else is doing it. It’s part of the fun. I hope nobody else in the family is on a diet, that would ruin the fun and make me feel guilty.
This is how the food talk sounds in my head and I could go on and on; this was just a snippet. I am making myself sick just thinking about it! Can you believe this garbage in my head about this garbage in a box? I sound like a teenager or drug addict!
I am hoping by now you can relate, that you too can hear that there is a voice in your head that talks to you ad nauseum (sometimes literally). It’s January and I am back on track with my rules, easily now able to focus on other things, like all the dreams I want to fulfill this year. But I am wondering about those of you who haven’t designed the right promises and consequences to help you live with ease, not anxiety, around food. Do you have to listen to these types of voices as much as I do on vacation? I have time on vacation, but during my “regular life” –NO WAY! I wouldn’t be nearly as productive, or happy! I fear the same is true for you and you don’t even know it.
You don’t know that you could make promises for everything that is important to you: food, exercise, date night, time with your kids, punctuality, TV and internet use. And you don’t know that these simple rules would clear your mind, make you more productive and make you SO MUCH happier. These are not resolutions I am recommending; they are well-designed, custom promises that you make to another human being or community. This is the concept that makes Weight Watchers and AA work. You need way more support than you think; you need people, like your own personal team. Your internal dialogue alone is not going to ensure your success mainly because it feeds you garbage all day long. Remember the garbage in my brain when I’m on vacation?
It’s January and it’s time to start fresh. I offer you a nibble of our community and an intro to designing both a deep context for loving your body and the right rules for you. Try our 4-week group telecourse starting January 16th, Dream Body, and get $50 off if you enter TDL50DBgrp. There are only five spots left.
Let’s make the voice of the food shut up so we can hear the faint whispers of ignored dreams and feast on them instead.