Don’t Throw Your Friends Under the Bus | Handel Group | Handel Group

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Don’t Throw Your Friends Under the Bus


 

This week I noticed I was really resenting both my lovely husband Will and my profoundly inspirational boss, Lauren. Why? I’ll get to that later. First, I’ll tell you the “reasons” I gave them.
For Will, it was HIS fault I didn’t get enough rest. He kept me up late, let me get up early with the kids, didn’t remind me to go to bed early, etc. He stood idly by and didn’t “take care of me!”
For Lauren, she let a business deal get really far along before stopping it when she realized it would take up far too much of my time. Why didn’t she catch this sooner? If she were really looking out for me she would have noticed it faster and “saved me.” It’s HER job.
Notice the theme? Nobody is “taking care of me!” Oh the irony. Can you guess who is not being responsible for taking care of herself? That’s right, it’s ME!
My life is pretty darn great, but every now and again I mess up and I don’t design well or I “go dumb” to some reality because I won’t face the possibility of not having everything I want. Like clockwork I look for someone else to blame. And the brat in my head goes into overdrive building a very logical sounding case for why it really is someone else’s job to take care of me. I sometimes even get “hurt” and cry over it to them, assured that my “disappointer” will feel extra remorse and try to make it up to me.
Uh oh. That’s not very empowering for me. What would be more empowering, though humbling, would be to admit that it’s ME; I am the one designing my life, always was, always will be. And, while I can ASK for support and help, nobody really owes it to me. A better idea would be to plan a really good night sleep tonight, all on my own. And further, I can recognize how insanely helpful my husband and boss actually are and apologize and thank them. That would be a good 180 degree turn around. We all deserve it- to know I am responsible for ME.
Ok, I am on to you by now. You love when I tell on myself. You’re in luck; I always have something to tell. It’s your turn to write back and tell on YOURselves. It does feel good in a weird way. Now you:
• Whom are you making responsible for your happiness or well being?
• Can you switch to thinking “maybe it’s you?”
• Can you make a plan where YOU take steps to rectify the problem?
• Can you apologize to them for throwing them under the bus?
• Can you thank them for all they do?
• Can you consider making a request if there is something specific you want or need, while being open to a “yes” or “no” from them?
• Can you comment on my blog and tell me how this works for you?
Of course you can- I did!
Love, Laurie