It’s December; time to look at everything I wanted to accomplish this year and see how I did. Taking stock has always been rough for me because I do not like to admit defeat. But then again I don’t like to admit success much either. I like the chase, not the assessing. Some part of me doesn’t want to slow down and get present to the feelings of success or failure. I think this is avoidance, but I have to face the end of the year, inevitably the time to “measure up” and tell the truth about it all because that’s what I believe in. This is how I get my lessons and find meaning.
Along these lines, my coach asked me to do something I initially resisted, to make a collage representing all I had accomplished this year. It seemed patronizing to me. I thought surely I was innately and already aware of and appreciative of all I had done. But as I started to clip images from a magazine, my perspective broadened. Using a new sense to evaluate, in this case visual (instead of just thinking in my mind or writing) opened up new channels. One image led to another and soon I had filled a page with things I had accomplished. I became aware that this year was like no other. I really did do things this year I had NEVER done before: leading at Kripalu was a life long dream, doing a regular radio show was something I started fantasizing years ago, and starting to make a TV show was the cherry on top. All of these happened THIS year. Not to mention how much more leadership I’ve taken on, and how much prouder I am of the kind of wife and mother I have become.
Ok, the exercise was worthwhile. Every time I walk by my collage, I feel proud. I remember who I am: someone who is brave enough to say she wants something, feel it in her heart, plan it in her mind (and on paper) and go for it. I faced “the brat” and “the chicken” a lot this year and mostly conquered the voices.
There were failures too, for sure, and in fact I have created a little game to keep me engaged in these last few weeks. It’s called “must haves” for the end of the year. I’ll tell you about that next week, but for this week, I want to strongly recommend you take stock of what you’ve accomplished this year, no matter how uncomfortable it is. Whether you find yourself disappointed or pleasantly surprised, you’ll be getting important information to help you design the rest of 2010 and enter 2011 powerfully.
At the very least make a list of what you’ve accomplished this year (and share at least a few on the my blog!). Here’s my collage, so you can see it doesn’t need to be a work of art. This is about making meaning, beauty is a bonus but not required. Remember, as with gift giving, it’s the thought (and feeling) that counts.