What in my life is really working well? | Handel Group

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A few weeks ago, I decided to go on an instagram-diet. Actually. 

I got so angry at Instagram that it wasn’t a conscious pre-planned-choice diet. It was an angry, fuck you, I am never eating (read: scrolling) again kind of diet filled with “I am deleting you and never going back, you make me miserable and I am breaking up with you”. 

I even researched getting a flip phone. I am so not kidding. 

What would bring on such hatred for an app? 

Here is what my insta-binge-sesh would look like. (Just maybe (wink, wink) this looks familiar to a few of you): 

I would sit with my morning coffee while my son would play in the other room. My thought would be, “I’ll have a 5 min look at the news on IG.” 5 minutes quickly turned into 15 after I started clicking on tags. I had to see who they were tagging, of course! Then I had to see what stories people were posting, and down the rabbit hole I went…. 

My inner dialogue sounded something like this: 

  • She never worked out before, now she is a maven? 
  • We have to move, the country is falling apart. 
  • OMG they are on holiday again? 
  • I cannot believe how many parties she goes to, I have not been to a party in literally 6 months unless it was for Jonah (my 5 year old son). 
  • I feel claustrophobic. 
  • All they do is have coffee at beautiful coffee houses, don’t they work? 
  • Do masks really work?  
  • There is no way she eats. 
  • 75K followers? For what? 

On and on it went, until: 

“Mama, Mama.” I finally heard in the background (often 45 minutes later). 

I woke up from my trance. OH, right! I am supposed to be getting Jonah ready for camp. Not only was I lost in my Insta-numb state, but now I was depressed and feeling like crap about myself, my country, my life, and my home because my Insta-swirl started a whole train of negative thoughts that, of course, supported my bad theories. 

I was stuck believing my negative thoughts were true, and the longer I scrolled, the longer I was proving them. There was the evidence, right there, in insta-color! It had to be true. 

But was it? 

Instagram is one of MANY social media drugs that no matter HOW proud I am of my life in certain areas, I will let my stupid taglines shine. 

My whaaaaaat? Yes, taglines

Ya see, we can have great taglines, meh taglines, or really bad taglines. Every area in our lives (including love, home, family, body, and the 8 others we work with clients on in Inner.U LIFE and at Handel Group) can not only be summed up in a “one-liner,” they ALREADY are. 

In some of them, the ones in areas you shine, you have great ones; and others, where you may be struggling because of “the pandemic,” “your metabolism,” or your perennial “running out of time” (for example), not so much. 

The areas (or relationships) in your life where you have GOOD taglines are going great, the others, meh. The thing is, though, because we are human, everything we think, we prove. So it’s really important to make sure our taglines are on point to where we want to go. 

You can use a rorschach test on yourself (or take our Current Reality Quiz) and see what taglines are working for you and what’s working against you. Super simple. 

Ask yourself – what in my life is really working well? What is not?

Well, me, personally? I was NOT having any fun. I was comparing myself to everyone, spending too much time alone. Granted we are in the midst of a pandemic, but my tagline need not be “100 Years of Solitude.” 

I was also looking at ALL the conspiracy theorists and pretending that I wasn’t. I was lying – to myself, my friends, and colleagues. Some of my other (unhelpful) taglines were:

  •  “You can’t ever get what you want”
  • “This is fine, but hers is better”

Do you think that was going to have me living a life that is awesome? 

Me either.

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So I put myself on a crash-insta-diet and created a handful of new taglines to chew on: 

  • My life: Magic in Motion 
  • My friends: Giggles, Joy, and Love 
  • My home: A Sanctuary of Love and Community 

Better, no?

I also had to put some promises in place, because just like any diet or new plan, it’s nothing but a good idea without a promise and a consequence. As they say, “insight without action is just all talk.” 

My promises are: 

  • 15 minutes of Instagram per day. Consequence? I owe my son 30 extra minutes of play time with me. 
  • I must connect with a friend in person at least once per week. Consequence? I take them out and treat them to a (real) meal the next week.  

So far it’s going ok. I am cheating on my Insta-diet and going over the 15 minute marker on the reg. BUT because I am paying my consequence, my son is happy AND I’m in integrity. Though, I am clearly needing to re-train my social skills… 

As far as my IRL social skills, I am being social! I have seen friends and even got a friend and her husband to be spontaneous and join me on my holiday in Mexico…I think I might be onto something here!

Your turn…I would love to hear YOUR taglines, old and new? How do yours compare with mine? 

Tag you’re it.