Usually I coach you to make yourself scared, because we know how cool it is to go up against fear and win, but today I am going a little new-agey on you and tell you to make yourself sacred. In other words, you are the source of your own experiences. Too often we erroneously think our relationships (or lack of them) or joy (or lack of joy), or effectiveness (or lack of effectiveness) has something to do with others. Do any of these sound familiar?
* My husband’s not into intimacy.
* My kids won’t do what I say.
* My mother would never understand.
* There are no good men in this city.
* My boss doesn’t believe in me.
* Women are too much to handle.
It’s not just accusing people; we accuse the “ITs” in our lives, too! I had two experiences this last week that brought this home in such a concrete way. I was about to lose it that I could not make my gym locker combination work (What’s wrong with this thing??) only to realize I was trying to open someone else’s locker. Same concept two days later when I was trying to plug in a hair dryer with the prongs the wrong way. I almost gave up until I remembered a favorite Handel slogan:
Maybe It’s You?
Why don’t we like to think it’s us?
1) It means we may be on the hook for bad thinking or bad choices and that’s embarrassing. Guess what? We all are guilty of both of these many times in a day, so let’s all collectively decide to admit it, stop feeling guilty or ashamed and start doing something about it. That means copping to past mistakes or erroneous beliefs and even looking for them and celebrating enlightenment (like I did when the hair dryer finally worked).
2) Because then we have to do something about it! Yup, that’s right, if it isn’t your mother, father, ex, kids’, boss’ fault, then you might have to do something to improve the situation. For years, I thought the reason my husband and I didn’t have great communication was because he wasn’t into intimacy. Turns out he was just sick of me interrupting every time he tried to get a full thought out. I had to do something to bring intimacy back instead of fretting about how I didn’t have it. I had to stop interrupting, and it changed everything.
It’s Valentine’s Day and you are going to want to blame your partner for getting it wrong, your parents for the fact that you don’t have the right love in your life, your ex for messing you up, society for inventing such a stupid holiday that only makes you feel bad. Or you might even just be blaming some supposedly immovable “fact” about yourself for why you’re not happily in love. I recommend, just for today, thinking it’s YOU and thinking that’s a good thing, not blaming. Every moment is fresh to start believing in yourself and others, instead of spooking yourself/them.
Special note: If you are among the very few who are in new love (when you’re still creative and giving the benefit of the doubt) or in a solid, wonderful relationship please try and convince other people that THIS IS POSSIBLE. See? Everyone has work to do in this blog!
All the attention we put on figuring out how it’s another’s fault or the world’s fault, actually leaves us feeling pretty unsafe. Your thoughts make you feel scared and lame, instead of alive and empowered. This blog was to remind you that you are the source of your experience, always, and that you already are a very, very powerful manifester. Please start using this power consciously for the good of your dreams. Stop making yourself scared and start making yourself SACRED.
P.S.- If you are in a relationship and you are having difficulty seeing your power to change it for the better, join the 4-week teleseminar I am leading starting tomorrow, Feb 15th Why Love Fades & How to Keep It Vibrant.