My mom reads my blogs so I have to warn her right at the top. Hope this made it through your spam filters; don’t worry it’s nothing graphic. It’s all, as always, about the power of your mind.
My health teacher in seventh grade made the joke: “what’s the most important part of your body for sex?” then turned around as though he was going to unzip his fly, then snapped back around pointing to his BRAIN.
So true.
So let me take you through a recent thought process of mine. Here’s the background: A few weeks ago our upstairs neighbors/friends were getting rid of a couch. My husband, Will, thought it would be great in our bedroom. After he got it all set up, I came into the bedroom and observed him sitting on it doing some work. I had the thought “We should christen it.” In case you didn’t get it, that means have sex on it. For those of you who know me, you know I am not much of a horn-dog, so this is a pretty raunchy thing for me to think. My husband would have been happy to hear it out loud, but I wouldn’t have dared to say it. I scared myself as soon as I thought it.
My next thought was: “That’s not OUR couch; it belonged to someone else. Eeeeew, what was I thinking?”
Then I proceeded to play mental ping-pong with myself:
Higher-self/Dreamer: “Geez, Laurie how old fashioned are you? Seriously, are you that much of a prude? I smell a lazy brat who is selling out on her sex life. You promised to keep it hot.”
Brat/Chicken: “But but, I don’t want to. It’s hard to relax. It’s hard to control my mind and pay attention to sex. It’s hard to slow down and trust and surrender.”
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Later that day, without knowing of my couch thoughts, Will gently but firmly reminded me it was the last day of the month and we hadn’t followed through on our “hot sex” intention/promise of the month. We have a regular sex habit of at least twice weekly, but this is a special intention to keep it spicy. He knows this is not easy for me and flat out refuses to exert pressure, but then again the man wants me to have my dreams, so I took the prod as a sign of love. Actually, he was being pretty brave to bring it up, because he knows my inner brat would prefer never to be challenged. Thank goodness, he is willing to speak into the headwind of my mind. (Hmmm, maybe he has a promise too?) Boy does our sex life (and marriage) benefit when we both choose the dream-oriented action instead of being romanced by all the good reasons “why not.”
Even in bed with Will, I continued to fight with my mind and then, just like in so many important processes in my life, at some point, I let go. I surrendered, I stopped trying to control everything and I started to just focus on the present moment and what (feeling/connection) I wanted to create. And then it got really good, and really fun. And I know my man felt it, too; how could he not? We had super hot, different, sex that night. (Sorry to disappoint, readers, but it wasn’t on the couch; stay tuned for that story in a future blog!) Finally, the “dream team” won, but please understand, the point of this story is that the other team (team brat/chicken) had just as many, if not more, cheerleaders.
This is what you are up against in all areas you want to make great, especially when you may be wondering why it’s not happening!
If you want to get a feel for The Handel Method®, Schedule a 30 Min Consultation and find out which coaching options may be right for you.
Love,
Laurie