Uh-oh! I caught myself saying the wildest thing to myself the other day. I was at the sink in the bathroom and it was cluttered up with kids’ stuff, my stuff, general messiness. I caught myself thinking:
1) It shouldn’t be this way.
2) Whose fault is it?
3) This is NOT my job. Argh.
Whose job is it, then ultimately, to keep my house clean? Sure, the kids need to learn to put their stuff away. (We’re working on that!) We have hired some help, and that’s fabulous. My husband handles a lot of things and generally doesn’t leave his own mess. But, upon deep consideration, I realized that regarding the crap around the sink that I use, that I care about, it is MY job. In fact, on some level, maybe everything I care about is “my job” even if someone else helps with it or could chip in.
What would life be like if I considered everything I care about to be “my job” and instead of finding that a burden, I found it an honor and a privilege? I was able to flip my bad attitude pretty quickly because I have been keeping in mind my theme for the month “debunking your dumb-ass theories.” Realizing “it’s not my job” was a very convenient (dumb-ass) theory that prevented me from having to deal with keeping the sink clean, helped me see things newly. It took about 30 seconds to clean up and renew my commitment to training the kids in the rules. But the best part was how much better I felt when I decided it was on me.
It is common to fear that taking responsibility for something will actually make you feel worse. In reality, it almost always makes you feel better. And I want you to remember that today, and for as long as you can, as you contemplate what you’ve been saying isn’t your job. You might be waiting for someone else to help you care about your health, or care about theirs first. Most of us are waiting for someone else to better a relationship before we choose being responsible for its success and depth. Or maybe you are waiting for your boss or your employees to change before you can have what you really want in your career. Please go fishing for the unhelpful theories you may be falling prey to if you feel stuck in any of these areas. “That’s Not My Job” is a lie, and that is good news for all of us.
Today, please practice flipping your mind and thinking, “It IS my job and that’s a good thing.” What will you take as yours today that you otherwise wouldn’t have? Please post a comment to the blog. The teleseminar “Debunking Your Dumb-ass Theories” sounds a bit harsh, but it’s actually kind of fun when you have a sense of humor about it. And for those of you wondering whose job your marriage or relationship is, we invite you to the teleseminar “How to Stay in Love.” The day will feel so much lighter when you realize you are in charge of it.
Love,
Laurie
P.S.- Bring peace to your thoughts – join us for Debunking Your Dumb-ass Theories teleseminar.