What if your thoughts create your reality? And, if you’re like me, a constant whirling dervish of ideas, wisdoms and worries, uh oh, is right.
In fact, my mind has even got an opinion first thing in the morning. It seems, even after a decent night sleep of seven hours or more, it thinks I should stay in bed. No matter how happy I am in my life or what the day entails, I find it remarkable that I always think it’s a good idea to stay under the blankets and push snooze when my alarm goes off. Why? Because the little voice in my head tells me so. Whatta you think? Should I listen to it? The answer is no!
It’s not the real me.
Your head is talking to you too.
Have you noticed that this little voice is inevitable and has a lot of cousins? I’ve figured out how to outsmart mine. Once I start actually thinking about my day or my to-dos, I know it’s time to get up. My mind is already at my real job, I might as well get my body there, too. I quiet the voice by getting out of bed.
The other way to shush the voices in our heads is to listen long enough to discern their familiar patterns and then make promises about how you will act, regardless of what the voice says.
Here is what I propose for you. Make a list of your most common detrimental thoughts and when they appear. Really consider all the different areas of life when you make your list, like: career, health, love, romance, sex, body, money, spirituality, etc.
So you can see how the voices impact me, here are some of my very ‘useful’ thoughts:
1) “I’m not in the mood,” when it has been awhile since my husband and I have been intimate.
2) “I should leave now,” when my kids are being hyper.
3) “One more won’t hurt,” when I have already eaten enough and I’m stuffed.
4) “I’ll feel better if I just send it,” when I am about to send an obnoxious corrective email to a co-worker.
5) “I’ll write later,” when I am avoiding writing my blog that is due.
6) “I don’t have time for this,” when my husband wants attention.
7) “I will totally meditate later,” when I’d rather get my email fix on.
It never fails, I am always happier when I ignore these thoughts.
Once you’ve figured out the thoughts you no longer want to believe, the next step is to label them either the “chicken” or the “brat,” or both.
The chicken is the voice of fear that would like you to avoid risk and well, stay in bed.
The brat just really thinks you should do whatever you impulsively “feel like” doing, whenever you impulsively “feel like” doing it. It sounds a lot like a young child who isn’t well-rested.
Get a feel for how The Handel Method® could benefit you.
I like making the joke that the chicken and brat each have a think tank working for them. Consider it for a minute. Most of your chicken and brat’s thoughts have a lot of substantiation. There is a mechanism (much like a think tank) that is working to provide data, research and statistics to prove that staying in bed, having that cookie, and skipping your workout is a good idea.
You have a big day, you should be fresh and need more time in bed, you’ll feel better, you really can get your morning routine done in half the time, nobody will miss you, you can exercise tomorrow. It goes on and on.
The brat and the chicken work hard to keep you “safe,” even, if that means alone, sad, and accurate about a whole slew of not so great thoughts. The best way to win? Put in a promise and implement a consequence to stop listening to them and take the right actions aligned with your dreams.
This may seem too simple, too hard or too punitive. Do not knock it ’til you try it. You probably have no idea how good it feels to get out of bed on time for two weeks straight, or stick to your food plan, or write when you say you will. It rocks!
Let me show you some simple promises and consequences that work for me and might work for you. I’ll stick to my selected areas of life, but please substitute in the things that are important for you and the consequences that would work for you.
– No coffee until I meditate.
– No social networks until I have done my daily writing.
– If I lash out or leave my kid inappropriately (walk away when they’re upset, etc.), I owe them my full attention for an hour activity of their choice.
– Be intimate with my husband twice a week, or next week have sex somewhere other than the bed. (This particular one of mine works very well.)
– If I am rude to a co-worker, I have to write them a poem.
Making promises and figuring out how you speak to yourself in the areas of your life that aren’t working for you, will get you moving in the direction of your dreams.
If your thoughts or the voices in your head are messing with you in the area of money, come to my 2-hour live event, Manage Your Mind, Master Your Money in NYC or my 1-hour Tele-talk, Change Your Mind About Money.