Lauren Zander - Love Coaching | Handel Group

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Your Sole Mate

By now, if you’re not new to us, you’ve no doubt surmised that I heart a good 1) made up word (preferably a noun turned verb) 2) life hack 3) pun 4) life-altering assignment  5) promise and consequence and 6) list that possibly goes on 1-4 points too long.  

It’s true. 

I ALSO happen to love a good tale of tail. In fact, in Inner.U LOVE, my newest online coaching course that I’m in love with, I share more than a few stories. Mostly to make a point, but also to make sure you and your picker (how you pick whom you pick) are on point.

In the name of Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be fun to share one of them with you now.  

As an aside (yes, I like those too), please note that most, if not all, of my stories are a bit cute and goofy. HOWEVER, they’re also a fairly easy way to question whether you’re more attached to someone than you are perfectly matched with them. And if you haven’t met your human yet, they’re also a good story to keep in the back of your mind for when you do. Today’s story is perhaps the goofiest of the lot, but it’s still crazy pertinent and pocket-worthy.

Here goes:

It starts with the belief that there are soulmates in this world, and that each person (yourself, included!) came into the world with theirs. And no matter how many you “try on,” just like shoes, when you put on YOUR pair – the one that is meant for you and yours alone – you’ll know. 

There’s not even a question, “will you know them!?” You will, period. 

Now, imagine. Here we are, invited to the HUGEST party EVER (uh, LIFE) where we’re asked to take off this ONE pair of shoes, and put them into a room with everybody else’s. Needless to say, there are a lot of shoes in that room and you’re not really sure how you’ll ever find YOURS, but what the fuck, you’re game, and you throw yours in. When the time comes that you’re ready to stop partying and find your ONE pair of shoes and go home, you go digging in that room for YOUR pair.

Dating is like looking for the pair of shoes – YOUR pair, your sole mate – get it, sole: S-O-L-E mate – that were meant for JUST you. 

HOWEVER, some of you are picking the stilettos. Sure, if you’re looking for a fling, rock on. But if you’re looking for an everyday, last and only pair of shoes…uh…put those back.

I swear your perfect shoe style is also SO you. It’s what you really love and care about. Just as my perfect pair was so me and so mine. 

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When I coach someone to find love, I really have them imagine their all-time favorite pair of shoes. The ones that go with everything, that you’d take anywhere and everywhere, and the last pair you’ll ever need. I swear your person has some of those very same characteristics as your favorite pair of shoes.

Personally, I had this pair of funky, snakeskin cowboy boots (sorry, please know I had them WAY before it was considered as eco-wrong as it is now). They had a heel and a funky toe and I could dress them up or dress them down. I could even get on a motorcycle with them. They were so my husband. Fun. Funky. And rideable…

What are yours like?