Fall is here! The leaves are turning, the weather is getting cooler and you can really feel a change in the air. It’s also the time of year when you start to confront what you have not yet accomplished this year. Have you achieved the dreams/goals that you set for yourself back in January? If the answer is no, it’s OK. You have two and a half months to turn it around. Here’s how to do it!
STEP ONE: MAKE A LIST OF GOALS.
What goals did you create at the beginning of the year? What did you swear you were going to make happen? Write down everything you wanted to accomplish this year, but haven’t yet. There could be 10 things on the list or two things. Write them all down.
If you didn’t make a list this year, don’t worry. Make one now. Your goals don’t have to be huge. They could be as small as spending more time on the weekends connecting with your family or as big as changing your career. But don’t forget, you need to be realistic. You only have a few months to make it happen.
STEP TWO: RATE YOUR GOALS.
Now, its time to rate your goals using a scale from 1-10 (1=Never happening and 10 =Succeeded!) Go down your list and rate how close you are to achieving the goal or not. Be honest. If your goal was to be engaged before the end of the year and you are still single, tell the truth. Your number will be low but that’s OK. This is about being realistic and knowing where you stand with each of your goals.
STEP THREE: FIGURE OUT THE FAILURE.
Next, look at each goal on your list and figure out why you have not yet achieved that goal this year. Where is the failure? What happened?
So, when looking at your list and figuring out your failure, you need to look at three different aspects of you: your heart, mind and body.
In the Handel Method® we emphasize the importance of having Personal Integrity®, which is the ability to keep a promise to yourself and align your heart, mind and body with your dream. When you’re achieving a dream, you will see that your heart, mind and body are all working together to make that dream come true. If you are not succeeding, you are failing in one or more of those areas.
Look at your list and ask yourself, what is missing?
YOUR HEART — TELLS YOU WHAT YOU WANT.
Is it your heart? Are you broken-hearted with this dream? Do you really want this dream? Do you care? Do you believe you will achieve this dream?
YOUR MIND — TELLS YOU HOW TO GET IT.
Is it your mind? Do you have a solid plan of action for your dream? Have you mapped out how to make this dream happen? Are you smart about your plan?
YOUR BODY — HAS YOU DO IT.
Or is it your body? Are you doing the actions you need to do to make the dream come true? Or are you being lazy?
After you’ve written where you are failing (heart, mind, body) then write the reason why you are failing. For example, “I want to lose weight. I’m on a diet, but I keep cheating.” Which one is that? It’s definitely body, because your body is eating the food when it’s supposed to be on a diet. It also could be your heart, too, because maybe you just don’t care enough and need to rewrite your dream and envision yourself in your new body.
STEP FOUR: EDIT YOUR LIST.
It’s time to be completely realistic. Look at your list and see if there is anything you need to take off of it.
You may realize that you’re not committed to a particular goal or dream anymore. Or you may be broken-hearted about failing at a goal and have already quit. If that’s the case, it’s time to own the failure, tell the truth about it and forgive yourself.
For example, “I’ve given up on trying to buy a house this year. I didn’t save enough for the down payment. Maybe next year.” It’s important to own when you have failed instead of hiding from the truth about it. Take it off the list and let it go for now. You can always look at it again in January. It’s okay to let go of something for a while. This is your life, your design and your happiness. Don’t put anything on your list that you don’t absolutely love and want to make happen now.
STEP FIVE: MAKE A PLAN OF ACTION.
Look at your list and pick your top two goals that you want to achieve by the end of the year. Create a plan for how to make them happen. Remember to look at why (heart, mind, body) you’ve been failing and address it when you start making promises to achieve your goals.
a) Make specific promises connected to your dreams. For example, if you want a boyfriend, that means making promises to go to singles events or join an online dating service.
b) Implement consequences so you keep your promise(s). For example, if you don’t go on one date a week, you don’t get to drink your wine on Friday night. Come up with consequences that will help you keep your promises!
c) Bonus! I also highly recommend getting a coach or buddy to hold you accountable. Make sure there’s someone else holding you responsible for your dreams so you don’t just quit when you stop “feeling like it.”
STEP SIX: CREATE A PICTURE OF YOUR SUCCESS.
Lastly, I want you to see yourself in a few months celebrating New Year’s Eve with friends and feeling proud about how you finished the year. Come up with a toast you’re going to make about how you succeeded at your goals this year. Write down the scene, share it with the people in your life and read it daily to keep it fresh in your mind. Spend the next few months picturing this scene as you go after your goals.
Have a great rest of the year and remember it’s never too late to make a dream happen.
P.S.- Get on track to achieving your dreams/goals at a Design Your Life Weekend.